what's troubling gus

tonight the hip are in vancity. tickets are $$$, and the concert's at gm place. so, ian and i are happy that we went in seattle. yay!

as i've mentioned a million times before, i'm having a rough month; normally november is a wick-ed month. for obvious reasons :o). everyone's gearing up for christmas and the stores look nice, and shopping is fun, and people are being nice (cause the pressure's not on yet). anyway, november this year has been kinda crap. today was a good day to add to the crap pile.

i decided to finally call my "friend" back today. she called me for the first time in months earlier last week, and i finally got a few minutes to see what she wanted. she asked me how i'm doing and what's been going on. so i filled her in on my work, having been sick, and my mom (cause she met her, and knew she was sick). i also mentioned that i was about to leave to see her in hope. it took me about 30 seconds. then i asked how she was, and how her internet boy was, etc. she then spent the next 1/2 hour (actually more) talking about how they have broken up, and whatever. and then she had to go to the washroom, so she called me back and kept going. then wanted to know about me doing a site for her and bringing in her stuff to the store. sooo annoying.

blah blah blah, then when i was at the hospital, getting ready to leave, cause i still had to meet up with my brother, my sister, heidi said: you know, you're really going to have to spend more time with mom. this made me both mad and sad. sad because i wish i could, and mad because i try to go to hope 3 times a week. my sister does not work and lives 10 mins away. i work cities away and live (during the speediest times) 1.5 hrs away. so i told her that i'm doing what i can and to fuck off. and left. to see my brother. blah blah blah. he got mad at me because i couldn't write him a cheque, and kicked my car, and then threw a stick at it.

ugh. is what i say to today... except for going to anton's with ian. it was my first time...and my second and third. the portions are huge, i'll have it for days! and except for my talk with yvonne... i promise, one time that we talk on the phone, i will not be complaining and crying.

oh, and last night was tonnes of fun for me. which was really nice. james, yvonne and i had a LATE dinner at wild garlic... then did some photo booth pics at the train station (which i used on my birthday invitations) and then had a wicked massage, so totally needed, thanks again! and sat around shooting it. a good evening. a late evening, but good.