huh? what?

it's june 1. i guess i'll blog.

oh, and things have been pretty suck-ass lately so i think it's best to blog. :o)

i got a call from the gov't (finally) for a phone interview. i'd say it went well enough. who knows, really... it was so quick! 3-5 talk to test your communication skills. i also asked when they'd let people know about the position. apparently now it's sometime in the summer.

needless to say, i cannot not be working until i find out. so instead of holding my breath, i've decided to do some shallow breathing. i'm going to continue doing temp stuff until i hear either way. then if it's a big ol' NO, i will have still been earning some cash and keeping my eyes peeled for other jobs earning equivalent $ and with similar benefits.

speaking of temp stuff... on friday my placement was at a clinic that does sample testing from animals. i was doing the intake, so i got to wear a lab coat and touch test tubes and jars full of various body stuff. the grossest was something a cat had coughed up. it looked like something between a gall stone and 1.5 cm diametre chunks of phlegm. also gross? sometimes you could get a whiff of poop. oh, and the fact that the guy i was working with had a sever BO problem. like, stink fest 2008! still, if not for the following two incidents, i would have happily gone back there... it's close to me, easy work, and pays well enough. *but*

1. at lunch a lady literally took the paper i was reading and 5 minutes later asked me if i had been reading it. i said that yes, actually i was, and then she launched into a tirade about the article she just had to read (about the vaccine for cervical cancer) and how she would never get that for her daughters, and if she had to do it all over again, she wouldn't get them other vaccines either, etc.. i just let her talk (for ages) and didn't comment until well into it for the second breath. i asked her about polio. i didn't actually care about her answer, but i wanted to say it. heh heh.

2. one of the ladies i was working with decided to share with the class (a muslim lady, the BO dude and me) that she has been pregnant 10 times. you see, she can get pregnant easily, but staying pregnant is the problem. *ha ha ha!* oh, and she used to be a party girl, and she even got pregnant because she drank too much when she was younger. *oh, how silly of her!* now, the weird thing is that she would have been a grand enough person to work with, except for all of her explanations on why she wants to move to Calgary, but hopefully never see one of her many exes from Edmonton. and her crazy pregnancy talk that she just wouldn't let go for AGES!

also exciting is that i had another argument with my sister. she's really pissing me off right now. well, she often does piss me off, but right now she is really really pushing my buttons. i believe i need a break from her. she doesn't read this blog, so unfortunately i'm going to have to articulate this in another way.

oh, today we bought an HDPVR. it doesn't work yet because the first one we bought was broken. and i almost broke myself on our IKEA tv stand where the glass shelving seems to want to fall on me... taking the VCR and such with it. they didn't have anymore, so we had to go to another London Drugs... after calling 3 different ones to find another PVR. so, we drove the broken one to Cloverdale and was expecting the lovely service you usually get at London Drugs. not this time. the guy, Michel, was so condescending it was making me furious. p.s. Michel... i don't care if this is the last one you have in stock, or that you probably feel like you're wasting it, because you feel that i wouldn't have a clue if something is actually working or not. you work at London Drugs, so take it back and replace it. oh, and when i asked if you should put the bar code in somewhere? yeah, you should have. now we can't register the stupid thing, although it does work now (yay!) because you told me we didn't need to register the number. listen ass-face. a little less condescension, a little more help and customer service, please.

also crappy? the forces worked against us today and there was no time for baby sheep squishing. i'll have to take care of that this week... a little cuddle from almost polar bears would be nice after i tell Michel what i think.

and to top it off, i am extra grumpy because i have severe pms.

now, there is some good news, so i can maybe have some nice dreams... S&TC was brilliant. yay. i loved it. i might even get ambitious at some point and watch the entire series and the movie sometime. that would really nice for me. with some popcorn and peanut butter fingers. yup. that'd be nice.

gerry brought me home DQ tonight and chocolate. which really could have been a meal replacement today.

and to finish it, things are moving along well enought for all things wedding.

yay. bed. now.

and it continues

while being mocked by ian and gerry about my plan to adopt a polar bear, gerry also looked up if there is an organisation that does this crazy idea of mine.

turns out the WWF has an adopt a polar bear programme! i'm getting a polar bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yahoo!

it's not you, it's me

like i said, i've been temping. well, i guess i should say, i temped for the first time. it started on april 30, and goes until this monday. i'm covering for the receptionist who is in hawaii for a wedding. (p.s. i say 'forgetting sarah marshall' and highly recommend it. hilarious.)

the other day one lady came over and was like: we're out of creamer for my coffee. i need my cream. my response? okay. (1. i'm the only person answering the phone, and all of the calls come through me so it's really an issue to leave the desk. 2. is the number of able legs she has that can take her upstairs to the boardroom where there is 'her creamer'.) so, surprisingly, she didn't seem to appreciate my lack of caring about her lack of cream in the downstairs fridge. she promptly went into this big thing about how badly she needs her cream and how she knows it's upstairs in the boardroom fridge but she doesn't know where the girl i'm covering for keeps it.

clearly this was a really big issue (in case her panic was anything to go by). so after about 30 minutes i left the phone unattended and went to look for the boardroom and the hidden cream. turns out, the only things in the fridge were two big bags of cream. good thing i didn't tell her to get it herself.

a letter to gerry

dear gerry,

i love you very much. i think that a baby polar bear would be a great addition to the hoefer gainford family.

please can we get a baby polar bear? i promise it won't eat the baby sheep!

love,
ursula

well, i know you have one of those

in case you didn't know, i'm waiting to hear back about a government job i applied to AGES ago. at this point, i have no idea what's going on, so i agreed to do some temp work. it's extra cash, and keeps me busy. very busy actually, but that's another blog.

at this place of work, yesterday they gave out a single yellow rose to the mom's for mother's day. when the boss came around to me, he was like: you're not a mom, are you? i was like: no, no i'm not (which was confirmed by a pregnancy test this morning, but again, another blog). so he says (because some bosses know everything) well, i know you at least have one. obviously, not just because i don't, but because there are other people out there in the same situation, i said that actually i don't.

when almost the exact same situation came up later, i had thought i would just let it be, but clearly i couldn't.

ah well. maybe next year i'll just embrace mother's day as the feminist celebration as it was intended and not feel grumpy and bitter about the whole situation. i guess there's father's day and a whole slew of other holidays to try to ignore first.

what's troubling gus?

i would like a baby polar bear.

for the last 12 hours i've been begging gerry to let me get one. he doesn't seem to think strata would be up for this. i wonder if bear years are like dog years? but maybe bear years could be like 1 week is 19 years in human time. (cause my building does not allow residents under 19 years.) this might be a point to research.

in the meantime, i've called my polar bear snowball. i was going to call it turtle, but changed my mind. and in the meantime, i should research bear adoption programs... like maybe there's an 'adopt a wild bear' kind of programme. but one where you don't take it home, because your strata wouldn't like it; oh, and also because bears belong in the wild, of course.

it's been five long days...

and i love chocolate just the same.

it's actually only been since saturday. but it's the longest since the cleanse that i've gone without chocolate, i'm sure.

if i sound like an addict, it's probably because i am. i'm hoping to not binge once i'm back on the wagon. it's not like i meant to quit. i'm not cleansing (thank god); it just kind of happened by accident and now that the hard part is over i'm just going to go with it.

hey look! it's a baby.

okay, this is pretty much a terrible picture of me, but it's a good one of Benjamin.

he was very cute and sleepy. no crying, just cooing.

yesterday was a big feed at the stewart house. chosie and juliet were down for a visit and the whole family came over to take turns holding benjamin and to celebrate alicia, gabe and stephen's birthdays.

the frozen lemon mousse i brought was a hit.

the worst prize ever... except for death

our door prize is the worst prize ever.

the only thing i can say in its defense? i have not laughed this hard since being drunk and watching the IT crowd at New Year's.

allow me to list in order of goodness:

1. the basket (i'm not into baskets *at all* but it's something i can regift without shame
because there is a function... it's like a gift bag for me: not into them so i just reuse them)

2. two white votives

3. some swan table/cake toppers (whatever that is)

4. swan/lovebird picture holder

5. weird photo album

6. a magnet wrapped in cellophane

basically this is the worst prize in history. i did laugh my ass off (good) but now am at a loss as to what i should do with this dollar store stuff (bad). my suggestion? don't have a wedding until i get rid of this crap, cause you might be the next 'lucky' recipient. i might take some pictures.

a boy, a bunny

i forgot to mention what we saw last week going to our salsa class. so i will now.

we were walking through the bus loop to get to our class at the rec centre when what should cross in front of us? a boy on a skateboard carrying his bunny in a cage.

gerry and i looked at each other and voiced our wishes for a camera.

matilda's scarf

look at what i made! the scarf, not the girl. it looks a bit camo, but it's nice and soft and squishy. it matched matilda's new jacket so perfectly it was an obvious choice.

chips and salsa

gerry and i are doing salsa lessons with danielle and jordy.

it's fun. tonight we get our cds with the music on them so we can practice at home. i sweat last week. hmmm... maybe i should wax my pits to help with that 'issue'. and by referring to my sweaty pits as an 'issue' i mean that i have to wash my workout clothes more often if i'm really sweaty in them.

so far (after one lesson) we're pretty much experts. as long as the class stays at this level, there won't be any problems. my concern is that it won't.

wedding belles

hmm... maybe i should have a bit of a disclaimer here.

as usual, my current obsessions will be thoroughly and publicly discussed here. current obsessions include all things weddings. so, if that's going to bore you... you might want to practice your skimming skills for the next while. i'm sure there will be a couple of months where there is no wedding talk. it's just that to get to that point, we have to do a few things or else we'll be stuck on the one point for the next million years.

we're thinking of setting up a bit of a website and having a wedding section. this will allow for online rsvp-ing, and lots of info on local stuff (once we know what local is) like hotels, sights, maybe even some wedding info like: please don't wear a green dress, unless you want to look like a bridesmaid. :o)

i'll keep you posted in any case.

current *big* obsessions include: locations, my dress, the date and milking big stores for as much free stuff as possible. i really do plan to only get married once, so i'm hoping that i can remember all the stories about places offering upgrades and champagne and all that stuff that people have told me about in the past.

the dress is a big one because i've never dreamed about my wedding. i didn't even think i'd be doing this... i blame gerry, because it's my blog, and i can. i guess i'm one of those, 'if you're gonna bother doing it, you might as well do it right' type of people. so i am, and as such, i will have a lovely dress and maybe even a lovely veil. but i'm not really sold on that yet. we'll see.

just say no

well, i've now said no to two jobs. am i an idiot? only time will tell.

i struggled with the last one, but in the end, and after a lot of talking about it, it was decided that i should risk holding out for the government one. and go from there. in the meantime, i might be looking for something casual and very local. i would need to be able to bike/walk to wherever the money takes me. the government positions will probably be a while before we hear back.

the good news is that the other place that offered me a job said to let them know if the government one doesn't work out. which i thought was very kind. and lucky. and nice. (no i don't think they would read this, so i'm just sayin' it like it is.)

so that's me, unemployed and lovin' it. :o) the only part that sucks is that we only have 1 car, and the lack of money coming in means less that should be going out. booo urns!

register your guns

as you probably know (since i just blogged it) gerry and i are now registered at the bay and home outfitters. please don't rush out to look at the lists. they are random and all over the place. and to be honest neither of us were up for it at the time. maybe in another 6 months. or maybe even AFTER we have sent out save the date cards. for now, we only have like 5 items on each list.

we don't have a date or a location for our wedding. but we're registered (how amazing is that?). some stuff we want, some stuff (a good amount, actually) is there for winning other stuff. i felt we should approach the registry in the manner of supermarket sweep. get all of the 'bonus items' and then focus on a couple of things we do want/need. we've registered for a kitchenaid mixer, food processor, and blender, all of which we already have, but in a few months i might be blogging that i won new kitchen appliances from this.

the most tempting item that almost got put on the list as a joke, but in the end didn't? the sauna for 2.

the best comment? gerry's suggestion for a password for our online account, 'divorce'. i'm pretty sure the lady didn't think it was as funny as we thought.

suggestion to the bay and home outfitters? make the lists available for editing online.

you win!

yesterday we got two phone calls. one about 'winning' two nights free hotel if we go to this presentation (i said yes initially because what's 90 mins if we get free hotel to use for a weekend away?). then i googled it, and decided that a 90 minute presentation on expensive pots and pans from Table Charms wouldn't be so bad, but all of the reviews of the gift certificate you get said it's really hard to book the time. oh, and that they want you to put your deposit on the booking and they may cancel it at any time blah blah blah. so we're not going to go.

when the phone rang later, and i was making dinner, i thought it was danielle calling because gerry was being quite familiar. when he said: oh, we won something? i just figured it was danielle calling to joke around so i said, what did we win, a baby? (aren't i clever?) anyway, it was the bay in langley and apparently we won some prize from them but they won't tell us what it is. i had a hard time sleeping last night. gerry's doing his nerds stuff today and maybe tomorrow, so it might not be until sunday that i find out what it is. it hasn't stopped me from dreaming that it's a vacation or a HUGE gift certificate though (but i think it was this basket with a bra in it).

i don't mind. i'm excited to have won.

some breasts with my salad

gerry and i went to langley on wednesday. when i went to the wedding show in vancouver with danielle and erin, as part of the trauma, there was a stall from the bay. *so* i entered their contest and then they were like if you register with us we'll enter you in this draw and this one, and you'll get two $25 gift cards, one from the bay and one from home outfitters. at first, i was like: forget it, we're not registering. but the gift cards tempted me, and the pressure from erin and danielle convinced me.

anyway, we were going to activate the two cards in langley and bring our recycling to the bottle depot (our apartment recycling doesn't take milk cartons, so it's easier to just do them all at once there). while registering at the bay the lady was like, OH! are you staying for our wedding show? and i expected gerry to be like: hells no! but he didn't. and there were prizes to be won, so we were like: okay. weddings are serious business, and there were more things to be won!

we decided to just head to home outfitters, do our thing there and then have dinner and go back for the bridal show. after some discussion (i'd been to the olive garden with my *other* boyfriend earlier in the week) we ended up at earls.

they should call the place breasts. maybe even t & a. when we walked in, this stick figure with a black scrap of material greeted us at the door. to her credit, she was friendly. seriously, i think her dress came from fredrick's of hollywood or else it was left over from her days as an exotic dancer/porn star/hooker. or maybe it was 'detailed' at home because it would have been a normal, if scandalously short, black dress, except for the massive hole in the chest that her boobs were falling out of. her highly 'blushed' boobs. someone's been reading too many magazines with pam anderson.

the lady's dress beside her had a slit so high in the back, if she bent over i probably would have had to tip her a fiver in her g string.

oh, and speaking of underwear... our waitress was the most modestly dressed character there. the top part of her dress was completely non-offensive. it's too bad the skirt part was greyhound (chasing the hare) and tight enough for me to see the texture on her thong.

gerry will be returning there, but probably with the rest of the guys from his stag party.

i will stick to the old people earls in white rock and surrey.

fancy seeing you around here

yeah, it's been a while. but i don't think my love affair with blogging has dwindled, and when fun/writable things happen, i try to remember so i can entertain my reading masses. then i forget. boo urns.

so, i have some stuff to write about, and to make it more fun, and mess up people's feedy things i will write them separately. mwah hah hah.

oh, and p.s. they won't necessarily be in order. i'm just gonna let people binge randomly.

paddy's day 2008

this was our first paddy's day in vancouver. well, by our, i mean mine with gerry.

there were lots of celebrations this week in vancouver, so on sunday we made our way to the city and missed the parade. *but* we did get to enjoy traditional irish treats like cotton candy and barbequed corn on the cob... oh wait those aren't irish! we did get some irish tunes, dancing and heaps and heaps of green: face painting, beer, hats, shirts and kilts.

it was good family fun followed by a leprechaun covered DQ cake. Yummy!

a letter about jPod

Dear Doug,

I like what I'm seeing. Keep up the good work.

Best regards,
Ursula

P.S. Thanks to Jen for reminding me; 2 episodes watched, 3 downloaded.