yesterday's blog

a version of the blog i wrote yesterday:

today on my friend’s blog he commented about tricking some friends into thinking he got married to a boy in vegas that he met in san francisco. which of course reminded me of telling my sister that i got married to wade when my mom, rachel and i went to vegas. we told her that we did an elvis drive-thru wedding, and then a drive-thru divorce. just because i wanted to be a divorcée. and then when i was last in vegas, we said i didn’t have time for the divorce this trip, so i’m still married. whenever i go to san francisco she asks how my husband is doing. it is also somewhat confusing to her when i talk about actions that are not conducive to a happy marriage.

all this to get back to a story that i forgot to tell when i first wrote about my last trip. the following story will be two paragraphs, and involve words like pooh, movement, and buffet. feel free to skip ahead (yes, chris, yvonne, ang and sarah this will be last night’s story) it will be business as usual after.

a couple of summers ago, i went with ian to vegas. we stopped in healdsburg on the way down and convinced wade to meet up with us (neither of these things are unusual). wade flew in a day after we got there. ian and wade love buffets. so, despite my thinking that they are the grossest thing, i did attend two of them with them. normal first rounds with them would involve a plate of meat. they constantly “having movements” and “not feeling well”. my normal reaction was “why did you eat so much? maybe you should eat more vegetables than meat”. basically, i was ignored. this is when i found out that wade needs to shower after he has a pooh. every time. now, i can accept this. everyone has their idiosyncrasies. i’m a fan of poohing in the morning and then having a shower. it seems like a clean start, and a good order to things.

this trip to healdsburg, part of our introduction to wade’s house was, in the shower there’s a green shower puff. don’t use it. (i knew right away where this was going). he mentioned that it had been yellow at one time, but he switched to a dark green. it’s his bum cleaner. fair enough, thanks for the warning (in my head, i’m grossed out). this is when it comes out that he doesn’t wipe first. he just goes into the shower. AND he mentioned that sometimes he poohs, brushes his teeth and then showers (now i have a mental image and that is totally making me sick). the next day, i go to have a shower. well, there’s the green shower puff. i obviously made great effort to not touch it, but had flash images of my slipping (especially since i have no balance) in the shower and grabbing on to it. instead of facing the shower head, i had to look away. i couldn’t even face it. anyway. that’s an example of wade. whom i love dearly, but cannot save.

yesterday, after work, rachel and i went to annapurna, the indian vegetarian restaurant. it was decent. the service was good. ian was supposed to come with, but he got stuck at a staff meeting. he was punished later by having to come with me to look for speakers for my iPod, and tampons. the best part was that he didn’t hear the first two times i said that i need to get tampons (we were in the computer department) so i had to keep getting louder. it was at a normal volume the first time. by the third time i was almost shouting. later i kicked his ass at crib. unfortunately he wouldn’t go for a bet. i think i may have crushed his spirit. muwahhhhh ha ha!

have fun in ottawa greg!