Tuesday, May 31, 2005

i am such a bitch

okay, on top of totally PMSing and doing this stupid cleanse, i had to go to CIBC today. not a good time to go there. i totally hate that bank. seriously, i have never been able to say that the service there is good. it makes me annoyed to even have to go there, but my mom's bank account was there, so there i go.

i went to deposit two cheques made out to the estate which is what the bank account now says too. the parking lot was full, and i only had a dime to put in the meter. that got me 6 mins. i was hoping to not get another parking ticket and get this fun bit of my day done with. instead, i had to wait while both tellers were flirting with their current customers taking waaaaay too long. and then it was my turn and the girl was like: are you irene? i'm like, ummm... no, i'm the executor. so she said: i don't know if you can deposit this here, i think it can only be deposited in the home branch (which is 2 hours drive each way). she comes back some minutes later and says sooooo slowly that it irritates me even more: "oh, i'm sorry, you'll have to..." i totally cut her off there, imagining a ticket because i was 5 minutes late, and told her to hurry. seriously, i was like: hurry, yes, i'm in a hurry. and took the cheques and left. if i'd been able to get a parking spot, i could have been nicer and explained that it's far away and that i'm only depositing. but instead, i will call the hope branch and see what they can do for me. i won't hold my breath though, cause they are just as annoying.

oh, and i almost passed out at the store today. i don't know if it's just the heat or the cleanse, or the combo, but this is probably the third time in less than a week that i've gotten dizzy and then felt it all slip away. i haven't actually hit the floor yet. but it's been a struggle to keep it together.

i'm starting to think that it must be the extreme heat at that store because i had a great meal with ang at sala thai today... i was msning with someone this morning and eventually the conversation became about food and by the time i could eat (half an hour after taking the morning cleanse pills) i only had time for an apple. i've been talking about food a lot lately. and i think this is one of the problems with denying yourself things, you totally obsess about what you can't have. i'm certainly not focused on when my next stir fry is coming along, because i know that'll be tomorrow. instead, i'm thinking about chocolate, pancakes, veggie burgers and now scones with jam and whipped cream (thanks lola). i realise there is a need for moderation, but it's going to be hard to control myself when this cleanse is over. so, i'm going to have to plan my activities for the days after the cleanse carefully. meetings with friends should not revolve exclusively around food and if eating some of the forbidden foods, it should be in combination with good things. for example, my sweet sweet love: toast... moderation and combination, it can't just be toast and butter all week. :oD that would be sweet though... *laugh* just kidding. sort of.

in other news, tomorrow is the building inspection! tomorrow is when i know if i'm taking the place in white rock. i'll take pictures and send them to anyone that wants to see. if the inspection goes well, i will start to plan flooring and painting and such... and what i'm going to do with such a small kitchen. eek! i hope rachel's dad can get a lot done while i'm in tahoe...

Monday, May 30, 2005

distractions

the idea for today was that i would get up early enough to go to the gym before i take ang to her doctor's appointment. instead, i've been catching up on blogs. i feel okay with that, except that now i will think about fitting in going all day. it's better to just get the boring things out of the way first thing. i know this, but sometimes i ignore it.

oh, and p.s.

someone found my blog by looking under keywords: sexy, adventures, doctor.

since that pretty much sums me up, i'd like to say: welcome, you've come to the right place. ber ner neh neh.

go for gold

being such a goal oriented person mostly works for me. i make lists. i do them. i feel good. in fact, it feels better and more clear to me when i have a list. i get to plan around it, and organise time and effort. i sometimes overextend myself, but i've been not bad at that lately. except for saturday, and that ended up working out in the end. probably because my priorities have been work and cleanse.

my biggest overall goal lately has been to get happy and don't cave-in to the negative. mini-goals that will lead to this fun event:

•leaving my work (which is happening)
•leaving my too small apartment in kits (which, depending on the building inspection on tuesday, is happening)
•getting more organised for the wedding (my big event this summer)
•travel more (which is totally happening... tahoe and europe)
•finish cleanse and don't revert back to bad habits (the cleanse part is a check, the bad habits, is to be seen)
•don't put off 'til tomorrow what can be done today

these goals have not wavered, and have been mentioned before, it's true. but if something's not finished, it stays on the list, and can even get added to the new list.

lots of things are getting finished up this week and next. and that, martha, is a good thing cause it feels so sweet to cross things off.

in other news, clinique is having its bonus time at holts this week. i've been waiting for months. :o) this bonus comes with an eyelash curler, which is my dream. i don't know why i didn't just get one... i've been thinking about it for about a year now, but i guess it adds to the fate element...

oh. my. god. i just totally freaked myself out. i heard noises from my hallway and then the sound of a door. it was my closet door. i did some laundry tonight and it shakes the doors, so it must have opened them. but (laughing) i did have a CSI panic attack.

anyway. clinique bonus. i probably would have been pissed to buy a curler and then get one for free... i think it might be bed time... and more of olivia joules and the overactive imagination. seems fitting. :o)

Sunday, May 29, 2005

laughing at yourself is good

i truly truly believe that you need to be able to laugh at yourself. things get a little easier, and certainly more fun!

the title of "random ramble" started off as "early bird gets the worm". because i got up early that day. somewhere along the line it changed. but the opening sentence didn't. so, my blogging day has started off with a laugh. at myself! YAY!!!

i can't believe it's only 10.30, i've already worked for a couple hours and been to the gym. gross. well, if i shower and play a quick game of catan before i go back to work, i can go to bed at 4pm and have done everything i need to today. oh, after i read the rules. rats. shouldn't take long.

oh and waxing party is on. if you want details, email me. there are some sweet deals to be had!

hot hot heat

wow. i sweat like a pig dog (swine hund) today. for real. i was going to go to the gym after spending (what i thought would be an hour) getting the garage sale ready for the store. nope. 3 hours later, i left to take a shower and then do some coaching. turns out the days were mixed up, and i only have to do some tomorrow.

*but* then i went to danielle's and despite not doing any thing (because of my bad skills as a painter) i was still super hot. i did do a drink run. and safeway was out of ice. *grr* my mad skills as a drink maker were appreciated. and i provided entertainment. in fact, the drinks were so good, they want me back tomorrow, despite knowing that i still won't be painting.

i also borrowed mario kart from danielle (who won't have any time to play it). i've played a few games, but want to play more more more!!! i like the battle part the best. but that's a multi-player thing. which means, i would actually need time to hang out with people in order to play games with them.

had yummy dinner at foundation (a way better veg restaurant than the naam, except they don't have breakkie) with yvonne. and didn't get a ticket (for once) despite my meter running out. extra yahoo!

i planned to do some tidying up around this place tonight, but i'm too hot and tired. it's also a little discouraging when you have like 15 boxes piled up in your already tiny living room. i'm just gonna have to suck it up tomorrow and deal with it.

for now, it's bed time and indulging in some trashy reading: olivia joules... the latest from helen fielding (bridget jones fame) and minutes/rules for what may be my new condo. i need to get up early for part 2 of the garage sale. and do stuff before it's so hot it's impossible. i'd set up my air conditioner, but i think they took the wooden stand thing away. i'll look into that tomorrow.

Friday, May 27, 2005

random ramble

i didn't get any kind of a worm this morning. but i did get a treat. rachel called from korea! yahoo! it was fun talking to her, since i only get a chance to chat online. she will probably stay at my condo (if it becomes mine) while i'm in europe. the good news about that is that then her dad can have lunch made for him while he does some renovations. unless i can con ian into doing some during his birthday month. :oD

i don't know how i do it, but today was my day off, and since i didn't have other plans, i just decided to work all day.

oh, i almost passed out at the gym! i don't know if i was too hot, or if it's this stupid cleanse (for which i only 6 days left, and i haven't cheated!) but in any case, i got dizzy and super hot suddenly and thenmy head pounded and i thought i was a goner. i held on though! YAY!!!

i also told lisa that i want to be done everything for the store by the end of next week. i can't handle it any more and am willing to tell her that.

good news: i bought some wicked wheat/dairy/sugar free stuff at capers today. i feel like the change in the type of rice i ate for dinner has really picked things up for me.

once again the trolley that allison and caleb got me has been of great service. i brought a girl at work who's traveling from england and currently has no money (she ate tomato soup for breakfast the other day) some food. lots of it. i felt so bad for her, and really, she's traveling. of course she doesn't have money. besides, whenever i travel people take us in and often feed and house us for free. it's what you do. anyway, i brought her wine, cheese and all of the wheat products in my house (like i'm gonna eat them), including proper cereal and stuff and she was like, i have nothing to give in return (like i care!). and later that day, vanessa brought her tonnes of canned and frozen stuff from her house too. it seemed only fitting that she had to use the gifted cart to take her food home. i want to make her and her boyfriend a wicked meal, but i'm doing this cleanse thing, and i really don't think that's much fun to eat around. in fact, i'm so bored of non-wheat products that i don't even want to eat around me.

which reminds me, she brought it (i need a name for my little cart!) back to the store. before i leave, i need that back! it's one of the most useful gifts. i can't believe they gave that up! i can totally see myself using it to go to the store in white rock! ha! they probably have parking for those things there. it's so full of old people... i'll fit right in!

i was talking to vanessa about going to lake tahoe and she said they might have access to a time share there...i think they are townhouses there. not just hotel rooms. actually we started talking about going to cancun on saturday, but i totally can't. i have commitments next week. otherwise, i would be there in a heartbeat. tanning and scuba diving. soooo wicked. anyway, get that thought out of my head. i have to focus on tahoe and europe. clearly i'm ready to go.

oh, and i no longer need to think about budgeting a pc into my future. jeffy introduced me to this other site that has carcasonne and settlers. AND it works for mac. so i need to get a better cushion for this chair! and i need to get a basket installed on my bike. i hate carrying fruit from granville island in a napsack.

and last but not least. stu delivered a package today! yay! thanks stu. you know who loves you, despite your lack of good gaming skills.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

looks like i won't be homeless

my offer has been accepted. i now have minutes to read, and a building inspection to do. both of which are boring as hell. but i did hold out on the last counter offer and saved myself 500 bucks. i figured they'd still go for it, and i could treat myself to a massage and a nice dinner out, once this f'ing hell cleanse is over. (i TOTALLY have to go to church next week.)

i'm pretty stoked about this place, so i hope the building inspection goes well. then i have to start thinking about packing. since i move in on the day before i leave for lake tahoe, i really need to focus on getting shit organised and make it as easy as possible to move. i was going to buy some new furniture for my new place, but i think i might just wait. a new bed, armchair, and loveseat are all on the menu for my return. i may just get a term deposit for the amount i want to spend and then go crazy when i get back. i am very interested in a big screen tv... all totally superficial things, but i guess they are things i should think about getting a job to better afford.

speaking of jobs. my job makes me want to kill. so i am going to work hardcore and try to finish everything as quickly as possible in order to prevent any jail time.

also in the works: waxing party. i will try to arrange something asap. i feel like i'm running out of hours in the day though. work harder. work faster.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

best laid plans

i didn't even get a chance to go to the gym today, so now i feel bad. i did do and get lots of work done though. that's gotta be something. the worst part is that i was hanging out in my gym clothes all day, thinking about how if i work a bit faster i'll be able to go. i feel disappointed twice.

so some girls from work and i planned to go to gay bingo tonight. we got to the club and it didn't look very gay bingoish. it's closed for the summer. FUCK. i may not be able to go before i leave. we decided to go to planet bingo on main. when you're in the mood for bingo, nothing else will do!

we got our asses kicked all over the place. the caller was super fast. we now know to only play three cards. seriously stressful. but we laughed about it. when we weren't trying to figure out what we were trying to get! and honestly, i cannot believe that people won when we had like 6 numbers to go sometimes. i think something sketchy is going on there. otherwise i would have won, right? or at least one of us would have. we were going to split the winnings which was really exciting when karen only needed one number to win $2000.00. alas, no go.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

day 7

according to the booklet that comes with the cleanse i'm doing, removing stress from your life is as important as maintaining the no wheat/dairy/sugar diet. after this morning, i feel like i could eat a loaf of white cobs bread and not compare to my current stress level.

my sister makes me crazy. seriously... like crack open a beer bottle on a table and slash at someone nearby crazy.

this is the same sister who wants to know where i'll be in ireland so she can visit me. obviously i had to tell her that i would be moving around a lot and didn't have any real kind of idea as to where i'll be. does it really sound like i'm running away? oh good, then we're clear about it.

in other news, i can't believe i haven't broken that stupid cleanse yet! last night i was watching hockey highlights (or lowlights, depending on where you're from) and there were tim hortons commercials like crazy. the bread product looked really good.

i'm trying to be full of other stuff, with the hopes that then i won't crave the stuff i can't have. and to work on some stress levels, i will go to the gym (i'm already in my clothes, so how can i say no) after i do some work at the store.

a list to deal with to maintain sanity:

•find somewhere to live (i will know about my counter offer by 2pm today)
•finish list for store so can stop working there (i'm working very very hard on this)
•go to gym (so won't feel guilty)
•eat lots of good things (so don't crave bad things, otherwise will break cleanse, and feel bad about it)
•don't answer phone unless it will lead to crossing off one of the items on the above list.

Monday, May 23, 2005

berry clean

today i saw an ad for more crazy flavours of toothpaste. they're all berry and citrus and stuff like that. it confirms my theory that people are more "extreme" in their desires these days.

personally i just use regular crest. no problems so far.

i lied

since the people that own the condo i want to buy are away for the long weekend, they cannot accept/counter my offer today.

i should find out tomorrow or tuesday.

it's very tempting to do no work tomorrow and just hang about doing nothing. what might happen is that i get up super early, do work, go to the gym and then do nothing. which, in the grand scheme of things, isn't all that bad. especially since i'm more that ready to crash now, and really only made myself stay up to watch episode 2 on the cbc because i don't own it.

now, it's time to brush my teeth and sleep.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

housing

today i find out if my offer on the condo is accepted. they may counter-offer, in which case, i am willing to negotiate. i would like to move in at the end of june, but i'm not 100% sure that's gonna happen. it would be a more relaxed move, especially since if i do it at the end of july, i'm going to have to move in the day before i leave for tahoe. that would be a bit nuts. i wouldn't even live there for 2 months before i left for europe. eek.

i hate staff meeting days, because the owner always tries to do everything in the morning and then runs out of time. if it had all been done yesterday she wouldn't be rushing to get stuff done. she'd be rushing to get to the store.

meow. i'm off.

day 4

good things have happened today.

i didn't break my cleanse, despite wanting to grab a piece of baguette from angela's hand, smear it with butter and shove it down my throat. and despite wanted some hot lips... just one, of course. but i didn't.

i put in an offer on this cute condo in white rock. initially i was going to put in an offer on this way bigger one. but i think fate intervened. the realtor for the one that i did put an offer in on, didn't call angela back, so we didn't even get to see it when we had planned. we saw four others, and then had dinner. as soon as we were done dinner the realtor called and was like, why didn't you stop by? blah blah blah we went over to see it, and i really liked it. it only has one bathroom and a smaller kitchen, but it's in a great location, and it feels nice. as long as the building inspection and minutes all check out, this one's a go. so it kind of feels like fate. fingers crossed.

my energy level is getting back to normal. which is extra nice because i have to work tomorrow. it's not totally back, because at 5.30 today i was ready to sleep in the chair. and right now, i'm getting sleeeeeeepy!

yay!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

seattle calling

today was the best trip i've had to seattle in a long time. considering the last two involved my sisters, it's really no stretch.

ian and i had planned to go to look for shoes since i've exhausted all possibilities here, and didn't want to buy the prada ones. i ended up buying those shoes, so we went down to look for shoes for him. and maybe some clothes. we didn't even get to the heart of seattle, which had been our initial goal. we stopped at this newish outlet mall because we saw the puma sign, and he had seen a pair of pumas up here that he loved and wanted to price there.

anyway, we didn't see the ones he liked there, but then i saw that the shoes they did have there (which were close) were only $14.95. he bought two pairs. and this adorable zippy top that was way cuter than the adidas one he'd seen and almost bought here. i bought a tank top at the adidas outlet for $10. it was so busy there, because there were tonnes of tourists from canada for the long weekend.

we drove further towards seattle and then went to a mall. the traffic was hell, so we followed my keen instinct that said to exit, and it ended up being the mall we had talked about. we went to victoria's secret, and i bought regular, but adorable, knickers for me, and he got some body crap for his friend who requested it. she also requested lingere but ian felt she should get her own. i know that i've said i'm not buying more underwear... especially since i cleaned my underwear drawer yesterday and threw away over thirty pairs, and kept over thirty. but i am a weak person. maybe because i didn't go to church this week, maybe because of the cleanse.

oh, and the cleanse is going better than ever. well, i was really really tired today. and hungry. *but* we went to olive garden and i only had salad (no cheese, no crutons). no bread sticks. no pasta. seriously. i didn't even have the chocolate that they give you at the end. and the guy brought us 2 each. i had to sit and watch ian eat the yummy yummy garlic bread, and feticcine alfredo all with cheese, i might add... but i resisted. AND then on the way home, we stopped at krispy kreme and ian bought two donuts, and because the light was on, we each got one for free. i was holding the warm wheaty goodness in my hands and gave it to ian. if i can get through today, then i will have little trouble with the rest of the 12 days. i mean olive garden, warm krispy kreme, AND at the outlet mall we walked by rocky mountain chocolate factory. and i resisted all.

we stopped to get some nuts for me. with the idea that they have some weight and would make me feel full. they did the trick, and all is well. oh, but the best best best part of the day. i picked up some cherry coke (not for me, on so many levels) and it had a different price for members. obviously i don't have a card. but when we were in the cash line-up the guy in front of us gave his phone number instead... like at safeway. as he was giving his number i was memorising it. i was just going over the number in my head when ian started to whisper it to me. which in itself was hilarious. then as the guy was leaving, i asked if it was okay to use his number. he was walking away and said sure. so i said his number and was totally blushing. like, what kind of freak memorises someone's number to save a dollar? me. the cashier was like: if he gets a phone call in the middle of the night, we'll know who it was. and he was almost out of the store at that point and totally looked back. i was seriously cracking up.

it was super fun to connect with ian again. we played punch/poke buggy the whole way, and of course i was the champion of all champions. and it was fun to be reminded of how in line we can be sometimes. we totally said the same things at the same time, and laughed at the same stupid stuff. and then the memorising the guy's number thing... it was awesome, especially since we haven't really been hanging out much, and haven't been having this much fun.

good times shopping in the states. and no duty/gst had to be paid. yahoo!

Friday, May 20, 2005

power on

tonight there is a wicked thunder and lightning show, provided by nature. if the power goes out, like it's been threatening to, i'm going to be in trouble, even my emergency candles are packed away.

yay nature!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

takin' care of bizness

so, it's not like the "extra energy" part of the cleanse has kicked in. i am only on day one, after all. *but* i am starting to finish up some stuff. except that i got a fresh new list of things to do today. i guess because the end is near, i've been really really really trying to tidy up loose ends. for example, i FINALLY cut the extra length from my shower curtain, i cut my nails, i dropped off the millions of magazines that were in my car to the cancer clinic, found out why i got a ticket somewhere i thought i'd never parked before (we were at the gift show, and lisa was supposed to pay it) and have reminded myself about depositing a cheque. i'm also almost done a tonne of laundry. there are other (much less exciting, if you can believe it) things that i'm getting done at work these days too. they don't feel quite as exciting, simply because of the new list. but i work well from lists. check.

tonight i will have rice and veggies. no sauce. i have a feeling sauces aren't allowed in cleanses. if they were, i don't think doing a cleanse would be that hard. well, except for the fact that right now i can't eat toast, any non-fruit related sugars, and dairy. this means no chocolate, in case you hadn't noticed. i think after a few days i'll be okay. i wish i had more kamut squares.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

day 1

today's the first day of my cleanse. yesterday i went to capers and got some cleanse friendly foods, but forgot to get food for breakkie. so i may eat a kamut square. which brings me to my next point: kamut squares are back! yahoo. the only problem is that the f'ing kamut gets everywhere. otherwise i adore the tasty little treats.

tonight (midnight) is the first showing of star wars. if anyone's going before next week (which is when i'll go with d and jordy) please let me know.

work is taking over my living space again. so, as day one of my cleanse, and after i go to the gym, i'm going to sort through and hand-off. the girl who's taking over my job for the summer is getting all of the binders, all of the boxes, and all of the junk that's been hanging around my place because of work. this is very very exciting for me. oh, and i'm determined to drop off those magazines at the cancer clinic today. i need them out of my car. for real.

in other news, last night i made risotto. i thought i had parmesan cheese, but i didn't. so i used cheddar and gouda. worked out alright. it makes tonnes of food though. i may have to freeze it until i'm done the cleanse, or i'll have to force feed people that come over.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

say what?!

don't forget to vote! (thanks for the reminder, ang) i'm off to do so right now.

Monday, May 16, 2005

done and done

shoes for wedding
sell house
re-learn sleep
arrange to get a hole-puncher

mad skills, yo

i need to practise more mario party... especially if i want to be any kind of competition against jeffy.

i'm looking for volunteers. must be extra lucky, or have mad mario party skills. oh, and a commitment to the cause is also appreciated.

oh, and i'm starting a cleanse on thursday, so you should have low expectations as to what you can find to eat at my house for the next couple of weeks.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

judgement

this morning i was having a shower and was reflecting on the past year. i've been trying to be more patient, more open, and more forgiving. i don't know that it's evident yet, but the effort's been there. i was thinking that i should have added less judging, afterall, who am i to sit on my throne and make judgements? so i thought about it more...

people often talk about how they don't judge people and how it's not anyone's place to judge another. i've decided that i disagree. even meyers-briggs says i'm a judger. and i am. everyone knows it. i think i judge my own actions as harshly as i do that of others (maybe i'm wrong, but that's your decision!). it's a combination of fearing those criticisms and the conclusions that go with judging that keeps people in check. it's moral law.

i think it's good to forgive... it's much healthier if you can do it. besides, the path to nirvana needs you to realise that you cannot control other people's actions, only your reaction. then again, if you go the christian way, your life ends with the ultimate judging: from god.

conclusion: maybe i should work on my reactions... and the becoming less judging will follow naturally.

pooped

work was boring today because it was kinda slow. so i did some tidying and throwing away in the back room. which was needed, and still is needed.

i'm starting to look forward to the fetish party tonight. yvonne picked up some stuff and all together we should be able to work something out. naomi's got some bondage tape and some liquid latex so that should guarantee something interesting.

okay, shower, nap, dress.

tomorrow will hopefully be relaxing enough that i can look through the rough guide to ireland that danielle picked up for me. i wonder where she wants me to go.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

sleep me

i am so tired right now, i don't know if i'll make it through the day. i feel like if i just quit today, at least i could get some extra sleep. and maybe play some nintendo!

oy.

doms

today i worked. i actually had a decent sleep last night, which means i wasn't very interested in getting out of bed this morning.

after work i went to the coq and found a pair of army-ish pants and the cutest hoodie. the army pants are for the fetish night tomorrow at sin city, i think i have an idea for the top. i hope it works.

the hoodie is because it looked adorable on me! danielle agreed, so two out of two can't be wrong.

then i played some games (crib and dominos) at ang's place. i think david either thinks i'm totally obnoxious, or a fun person to talk smack with. either way he's probably right.

i'm so tired, you get the short version of the day.

good news: another mushroom free day, peaches. yup, no mushrooms.

Friday, May 13, 2005

busy busy

it was a busy (stressful and hectic) day today. being tired all day didn't help.

i'm so tired, i'm not going to even bother talking about the bad stuff.

some of the good stuff (but not all):

i got a wicked amount of work done today
ate breakkie at sophie's
got some bed time, even if it wasn't sleep time
angela brought samosas
1 for 2 at crib today
had a yummy yummy smoothie
talked to kenji online after lots of hits and misses

and the rest of the day doesn't matter all that much...except that it's now time to try to go to sleep.

actually, i'm allergic to mushrooms

so, a challenge was issued (during my not reading many blogs phase). to jeffy, i say, "i'm allergic to mushrooms". i have convinced my body of this, and am physically unable to consume the fungus. *barf*

i have even told people that i would not kiss them if they ate mushrooms in front of me. yeah, it's true.

anyway, let's come up with a real bet. peaches *heh heh* versus yoshi *yahoo*. as i said on your blog, i'm going to try to figure out a way to get to ontario before (on my way) to europe. i just have to figure out some stuff...including where i will live when i no longer can live here. and other minor details like that. maybe i'll win lots of cash in tahoe. saweet.

hey, isn't peaches princess toadstool? *gross*

Thursday, May 12, 2005

insomnia

it sucks.

i've had it for the last few days, and tonight decided that laying in bed was getting me nowhere. now i'm going to work. i'll start with making a list. that always makes me feel better.

church lady

(thanks for the suggestion, yvonne)

today i went to church. it's the first time in a long time... if you want a clearer date, ask kenji. i can guarantee he was preachin' the last time i went.

i went to a small group that has some discussion and is much more personal. as i am in search of a community (among other things) i mistakenly choice wisely.

but did i think i had chosen so wisely when i first go there? well, there was a moment of bliss when i pulled up and there was rockstar parking, and it looked like i was at the right place/right time. and then when i was greeting by this nicely dressed korean man (there's a reason his ethnicity is important) i thought i was a natural at this church thing... the doors weren't even locked... i didn't have to find a special entrance. god was welcoming me. ahhh! the beauty of it.

then the nicely dressed man asked if i was a member of the church (insert panic, and start dropping names). i said no, but that the church was recommended to me, and that i'm here for the 6.45 worship. he then told me about the korean service at 6.45. uh oh... i might have stayed for it, but with my current expertise in korean, i didn't think i could pull it off... besides, i think i might have stood out. anyway, i told him that there's a service at 6.45 and then we cleared things up, i showed him the big sign outside, and he told me where the chapel was.

when i got to the chapel, there was an old guy that looked dutch, so i decided he was the older minister (who from my research is dutch) and that i must be on the right track. and the sign said prayer in silence or something, so i couldn't ask him if i needed a book... when you're in the church all of the materials are in front of you. once other people came in i stopped pretending to be praying and grabbed a book like the other ladies.

it was actually kind of nice. i refused the wine and bread because i'm not baptised, but he was like, oh go ahead if you like. i've only done it once before so i said thank you instead of amen. oops.

basically the ladies there were super nice, and i think i'll go back. i'm really into ladies that age. i like them a lot.

after church, yvonne took me out for indian. yummy!!! thanks yvonne. i'm so f'ing full... and maybe didn't need to go to DQ after. craving or not.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

gymmy

i'm going to hit the gym today. it'll be the first time in a looooong time. an embarassingly long time. but i want to get back on track, and since my work day today is very flexible, i might as well take advantage of it.

also today, my house is going to be viewed again. since the last deal fell through. it might actually work out a bit better if i move out of here at the end of june or the end of july instead of mid july because of danielle's wedding.

other exciting things planned for today: church and dinner with yvonne. well, dinner with yvonne... not church.

rats. i should have grabbed my iPod from one of the boxes at ang's... now i have no music to listen to at the gym.

weird

i feel like i'm at this really weird point in most of my relationships. huh, harder to describe than i thought.

my sister told my other sister and my brother that i was moving away. my brother's reaction (the same brother with whom i haven't spoken since my mom died) was: it's not because of me, is it? my other sister's reaction when told was to call me and ask me if it's true. no hello, no how are you. simply: are you moving to ireland? i can see how she was confused, i've never even been there. i just don't think it matters that much... i'm just gonna do it. if i don't like it, i'll do what should be done when you're not in love with something/someplace: move. it's not like anything's holding me back, really. besides, if i decide where i'm going now, she'll have a plane ticket before me... she's already talked about visiting, and i don't even know where i'm going. *and* right now, the last thing i want is a visit from someone that makes me crazy.

i also feel off kilter with my non-family (and therefore closer) relationships... like i'm not on the same wavelength, there's a lot of explaining, arguing/discussing, disagreeing, whatever. to quote anghold,"i think it might be me".

even this whole work thing has thrown me off. the good news is that i may be leaving sooner than i thought... like end of this month sooner, which wouldn't be bad, what with my maid of honour responsibilties (manicures, pedicures, massages etc.) it's going to be a busy month. well, that and packing.

i want to say this weirdness is a today thing, but i'd be lying. and i hate that word... i use laying as much as possible... grammatically incorrect or not... i much prefer lay over lie. but really, who doesn't?

maybe i just needed a beer tonight... if i hadn't been the one driving home... and if i liked the piss. :o) good games, kids. nice conversation... i'm totally interested in being a robber... but what if there aren't any cops?

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

don't be cruel

so, i decided on a pair of shoes today. the ones i really like were ordered in from the t dot, but they were too tight for my flippers. thinking about it, i really describe myself as creepy on this blog... :oD ahh... the truth shall set you free!

anyway, the shoes i bought have started to grow on me. they're silver strappy prada mules with a not-so-high heel. i'm probably still under 6 feet in them. but there are two things wrong. the first, and the biggest: the price. they cost more than some people's dresses for the event. and the second: unless the size 10 feels way better than the 10.5, i'm still not going to be overly comfortable. the design doesn't allow for my stubby baby toe to be comfy. i could get it amputated... but *that* may be more that i'm willing to do for this event. sorry danielle.

the good news is, i'm going to seattle, and i'm gonna find something. or, drown my sorrows in some kind of shopping. and then spray paint a pair of shoes silver.

rachel says i have good shoe karma. i would like to argue differently.

xu = 1 million points

but that still isn't enough to beat anghold at scrabble.

yesterday i played a game of catan with ally and caleb. i haven't played catan in a loooong time. it was wicked.

and then it was crib, scrabble, taco salad, and cake at anghold's. good times were had. thanks for entertaining me, ang.

today there was a building inspection at my house. hopefully this is a good thing. we're now also starting to look at houses, not just condos. oy. there are two that have come up already. we'll see how it goes.

also today, i dropped my sister off at the airport. one sibling down, two to go. :o)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

oh, that's smooth

i haven't had a smoothie in a while. yesterday i made one. oooh so good. i wasn't going to leave the house today. now i have to go out so that i can get more strawberries. and bananas. rats.

i'll pick up some apples too. just in case i make apples in pyjamas. oh, greasy german comfort food.

today will involve making a list of things to do for the week. playing catan with allison, caleb and the baby in the tummy. it may involve risotto, yvonne et al (is this the correct use? it feels right) and as mentioned, apples in pyjamas.

the rest of my day has been somewhat crap, but hopefully a smoothie will cure some of that. if not, there's always chocolate.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

fuck

so i woke up this morning to barrage of thoughts: i hope work doesn't call me. holy crap i'm thirsty. oh, wicked, no hang over. oh fuck, i think i blogged last night. and, i wonder if anyone wants to go for brunch.

i would have erased the blog, but i guess people have already read it.

at least my first rule of drunk held through: do NOT email anyone, under and cicumstances.

clearly, last night was fun. i think i'll lay low, do some work, watch lemony snikket's.

shit

i have the hiccups. severe. okauy, remember (ang) how i had themm earler when i was kicking your ass at mario? hahaha/ anyway. i think i drankt oo much. shit.

maybe i need water.

also. now i'm looking forward a lot to my trip at the end of summer. gerry, can i crash at your house?

also,. oh yeah, ang i blame you for drinking too much. oh and how can i hiccup and sleep? i don't think i ca. remember when you thought that people when they were drunk hiccuped because they did in movies. i was hiccuping before movies. oy. also, i had popcorn tonight at quinn and naomi's. and we did karaoke. andthat was at karaoke box and the cab driver there wouldn't listen to me. ha ha.

oh and maybe it's me because the other guy at the karaoke place wouldn't let me pay for the wine first. also, i wish they had shmkmirrnoff ice. as i am partial to that. i need to put a replacemtent wine in the fridge. ause ang and i drank the other wine. now i have red wine, and i don't realluy like it the best.

what else? oh, i hope james and karen come and visit in june. that would be fune. except if that is when i move. but i don't know. also, i wonder if youhave he same kind of fun if you are an alcoholic or id you are get a different drunk. but how do you aske someone?

oh, and i want to see ummm that movie about elexander the great. that would be cool. and i think i'm tires. so i should brush my te4eth.

i have feeling i will regret leaving on my computer. i hate that. oh well. skip it if you don't loooooooooooove it paris hilton style.

Friday, May 06, 2005

blonde ambition

today i tried to fix lisa's computer. and then went to richmond to pick up the strata mitues for my house sale. i'm going to go and make copies of them soon.

since i was trying to avoid working, and my house certainly didn't need cleaning, i got my hair cut and coloured...you know, for entertainment. this time i'd call it blonde. dark blonde. anyway, it looks hot. whoo hoo! 3.5 hours had better be worth it.

i'm starting to get really excited about episode 3 coming out. i mean come on, it's the last of a legacy. even if you're not totally in love with star wars, it's something to see. i'm trying to not see the commercials, because despite knowing the story line, i'm not interested in seeing half of the movie before i get to see the whole thing.

i guess that sums up my day: computers, hair, and star wars. right on.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

trash and bed

today was a "i'm so happy to be leaving work" day. ugh. i just got in from the store, to make up for the hours i skipped out on earlier. skipped out on to go shopping with danielle. we went to holt's and i special ordered the shoes. i hope they work. they should be in overnight from toronto. don't worry... i'll keep everyone posted on the shoe situation. danielle said that she could feel my sadness. if this doesn't work, i'm going to have to start hitting more stores in the states... road trip!

danielle, vanessa and i also went to visit vanessa's connection in the bag industry. i was going to blurb about what was purchased, but i don't want to betray anyone's secrets.

tomorrow i have to make sure i have all of the minutes and financial stuff ready for the buyer of my condo. hopefully i'll also be able to see this sweet place in east van that looks like it could be my next apartment.

ugh. must go to bed. am tired. but what's the trash part of this? the new helen fielding book (bridget jones's diary) that i picked up. oooh how i love trash. :o)

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

my bum hurts

today i got my ass kicked all over the coq. ang whooped me at crib. but revenge will be mine. mwahhh haaa haaa.

oh! and today a cop called to go over what needed to be done for the hit and run that yvonne and i saw near dalia's. he was super flirty (ask yvonne) and at the end of the conversation asked how old we were. he (maybe joking) said he thought we were 18! but this is the same guy who was like: hello ursula speaking because i answered the phone: ursula speaking. and started the conversation: the way [yvonne] tells it, it was your fault. which totally freaked me out, because i already feel bad that the guy was backing up to let me through. but then he was like: oh, i'm just joking! and he was super impressed by me getting the license plate. he said most people think to get it after it's too late. i replied that i watch a lot of law and order... i've been schooled proper.

tomorrow i'm going to go into the store a bit for some coaching, and then i'm going to go shoe shopping with danielle at holt's. god willing there's something to match my dress. something that will be comfy... and something i can wear more than once. maybe i'll just get a pair of those cute $30 dr.scholl's. there wouldn't be a problem with the heel sinking into the grass at minter gardens.

plans are starting for my big move... the one to europe... not the one within the GVA. looks like i'm going to germany first, i may pick up a car there... haven't decided, but there's a 1971 vw bug with my name on it... since i'll be selling my car here, i may use it for a bit in europe, and then send it over here. it could be fun. anyway, in germany we'll start sorting out some of the furniture and all that kind of stuff left from my oma and dad. and then it's look out ireland... word on the street is that it's better to visit there before the rain starts for the fall/winter. the rest is up in the air. and pre-europe might be (if i can swing it... i have to figure out times and house stuff, etc) a trip to ontario. i can always leave for germany from toronto... there's an airport *and* settlers *and* curry week. anyway, that's what's going on these days. and a whole bunch of work!!!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

sold... to the highest bidder

yesterday i got two offers on my house (yay!). one of which has been accepted. i've started getting the minutes together and planning for all of the stuff needed. the guy is using a lawyer, not a real estate agent, so i've got some special requests to work on. it is a huge relief to know that i can now start looking for something to move to.

to celebrate i left (too late) for the coq. there was some serious ass-kicking going on at ang's in the form of cribbage. i almost got double-skunked. which totally hurt my heart. :o) we're still working on the "don't just win, skunk them" policy. and some forms of trash-talking have also been implemented. good times all around. and cookies all around too...thanks to rach's mom.

i think i'm interested in a cinnamon bun. also, i need to figue out what to eat that's not messy (because i still have the building inspection) but is going to be satisfying. there will be a messy party possibly involving the extra tofurkey after all of the things are lifted by the owner.

i guess living at other people's houses and not showering has finally paid off.