weird

i feel like i'm at this really weird point in most of my relationships. huh, harder to describe than i thought.

my sister told my other sister and my brother that i was moving away. my brother's reaction (the same brother with whom i haven't spoken since my mom died) was: it's not because of me, is it? my other sister's reaction when told was to call me and ask me if it's true. no hello, no how are you. simply: are you moving to ireland? i can see how she was confused, i've never even been there. i just don't think it matters that much... i'm just gonna do it. if i don't like it, i'll do what should be done when you're not in love with something/someplace: move. it's not like anything's holding me back, really. besides, if i decide where i'm going now, she'll have a plane ticket before me... she's already talked about visiting, and i don't even know where i'm going. *and* right now, the last thing i want is a visit from someone that makes me crazy.

i also feel off kilter with my non-family (and therefore closer) relationships... like i'm not on the same wavelength, there's a lot of explaining, arguing/discussing, disagreeing, whatever. to quote anghold,"i think it might be me".

even this whole work thing has thrown me off. the good news is that i may be leaving sooner than i thought... like end of this month sooner, which wouldn't be bad, what with my maid of honour responsibilties (manicures, pedicures, massages etc.) it's going to be a busy month. well, that and packing.

i want to say this weirdness is a today thing, but i'd be lying. and i hate that word... i use laying as much as possible... grammatically incorrect or not... i much prefer lay over lie. but really, who doesn't?

maybe i just needed a beer tonight... if i hadn't been the one driving home... and if i liked the piss. :o) good games, kids. nice conversation... i'm totally interested in being a robber... but what if there aren't any cops?