Monday, July 27, 2015

My Homeless Boyfriend

No, not that one, the other one. 

Today I was riding my bike along Walnut, going to the library after my pedicure, when I heard some shouting. I knew who it was, partly because I heard something about an ass, which is my homeless boyfriend's obsession with me. And fair enough, I have one, and it's quite noticeable, and that's just the way it is. 

Anyway, I was obviously hoping that I had actually misheard, or that I would out-ride him, or get to the bib before he caught up to me, but that didn't happen. I was just about to turn, when who rolls up? Peddling as fast as he could, with a sign, and quite possibly all of his worldly possessions, still hollering, it's him - the Predident of the Big Booty Fan Club. 

I decided to yell back (from the other side of the road, as is reached my destination, that he wouldn't talk to his mother like that, and that he needs to leave me alone. He promptly wiped-out, possibly tore his arm up (I'm not sure). I asked him if he was alright, he said he was, got back on his bike, and zoomed (sort of) off. 

This is either a cliffhanger or part one of a long series.